i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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