We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize