Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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