did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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