You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
