I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
