apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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