East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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