so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
