Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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