i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
