i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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