what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
