I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
