Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
