I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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