I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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