How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize