You're completely useless in the revolution.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize