what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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