i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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