i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
