I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize