Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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