my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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