is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
