Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
