So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
