he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
someone owes me an orgasm
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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