honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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