I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
