Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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