We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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