When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
