when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
