The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
