Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
