I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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