when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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