i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
