so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Come see our sink grown plant.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
whose parrot is this?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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