ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
