she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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