yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
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