Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
