I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
