; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
