oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
This is the high leading the old right now
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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