We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
