This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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