it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
