Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
