I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
