Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
