I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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