the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
