Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
