i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
