It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
