3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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