what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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