i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
